It is one of the worst lessons to learn growing up; having to politely smile, sit and wait while someone else is enjoying the fun. We, as humans, are selfish beings so it definitely does not come first nature to us. We all are guilty of envying what someone else has and wondering (hopefully silently) why we can’t have it too.
For me, it’s usually been when my friends date an amazing man, get married, have babies, and I feel lonely and like there’s something wrong with me because I haven’t found my Mr. Right yet. It’s taken years of learning patience and keeping the faith, but I know now it is God’s timing. He knows I’m not ready yet (even though I try to convince Him otherwise) and He has so much more planned for me before then.
So when my friends send me an invitation to their wedding, I get “the” call, or I see a new ring on social media, instead of my stomach dropping in heartache, I allow it to soar in the joy for my friend. Of course it’s still in the back of my head that it’s not me, but I refuse to allow my bitter selfishness dampen one of the best moments for the people around me!
I celebrate the new couple and I wait my turn. A new habit I’ve developed as I watch my friends achieving my dream milestones, I begin to not only pray for them, but I also take a moment and pray for my future. At a wedding, I will pray for the man that will someday be my husband (Lord knows, he’ll need it). When I see another gender-reveal balloon, I pray for my future babies. Praying comforts me because I feel like I am getting closer to it, at least on some level. (Pray for patience for me, if y’all don’t mind).
Waiting really does help though, because I also make notes (literally) about characteristics I hope my husband has that I see in their guys. In my own failed relationships, I can learn what I need in the future, but it really helps to see it first-hand in a real man and a real relationship. God allows me to see the good, the bad, and the downright wonderful so I can have a better picture of what I should wait for. I know it’s for the best and I refuse to settle just because I’m tired of waiting.
So cheers to all the happy couples, the new parents and grandparents, and to everyone else whose dreams are coming true. I am overjoyed to be able to watch and celebrate yours while I wait for my turn.
At a friends’ recent elopement, I got the chance to strap a Go-Pro on and film the whole thing. Heck yeah! If this isn’t a benefit to celebrating someone else’s happy day, I don’t know what is! It made the couple happy and while I am probably the worst videographer ever, I just thought about how they’d do the same for me on my big day. And if not, I still had fun doing it.