I don’t have much of a filter when I speak. I say what comes to mind and I am an honest person. Don’t get me wrong, I am still polite like my mama and daddy raised me to be, but I can be blunt. I have always been pretty open in my life, but recently it has taken a turn and I believe it’s for the better.
When I talk to my girlfriends about guys we’re interested in/dating/fighting with/ and the like, they know I don’t hold back and I will be brutally honest with them. I always get frustrated when I hear “I’m just going to say _________ and maybe he’ll take that as _________.” I am not a fan of playing games, and I do not understand why people beat around the bush (and like 99.9% of the time, the guys don’t react how we imagined they would, dangit!). It seems to me like a waste of time and emotions and it causes frivolous fights over literally nothing.
Before I say or type something that might be a little bold, I sit back and reflect on exactly how I am feeling and how I can properly convey it. For example, I’ve mentioned before how I unapologetically overuse the word “love”. I explain to people new to my life (especially men that I date) that while I am not “IN love” with them, I do genuinely care about them so much and I want them to know that I love them as a person and enjoy having them in my life. I tell my friends I love them all the time, so why would I hold that back just because I’m in a romantic relationship? Oh, right, women are supposed to hide their vulnerability…yeah no thanks.
I also use the mindset of the possibility of getting hit by a car tomorrow to push me to say the things a lot of people might hold back. One of my favorite quotes of all time is, “If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?” – Stephen Levine.
What is the worst that could happen? I think about this a lot and use it to encourage others to speak their minds and wear their heart on their sleeves. Say you find someone attractive in a restaurant. Would you go up and give them your number? What’s the worst that could happen? They don’t call. Okay, shrug your shoulders because that wasn’t the person for you. Take the risk and just say what you feel. Allow yourself to open up to the world. Yes, you can and will probably get hurt, but you’ll only grow through times, experiences, and yeah even rejections like that.
In speaking so frankly, I can honestly hold my head high at the end of anything (jobs, relationships, friendships, etc.) and I have no regrets. I laid it all out on the table and if it didn’t work out, I only learned and grew from it. I will never apologize for my honesty and my boldness in opening up to people. Learning to wear my heart on my sleeve and trusting other people to handle it has been wonderful. I wouldn’t have it any other way.