“Desperation/There’s danger in frustration.” These are lyrics to one of my favorite songs from my all-time favorite artist, Miranda Lambert. She released this album (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) a decade ago and I remember these lyrics unexpectedly hitting me with their meaning years later.
I do it all the time, get a new CD, (yes, I still buy physical discs because I am old school and prefer them to an “mp3 download” – you don’t have to charge any device to play them!!) and listen to it on repeat until a new album comes along. I listen to it in different moods, and each time it’s as if I’m hearing the words and the story (or lesson) for the first time. I get something new out of these lyrics when I finally have a similar mindset to the writer and realize what they meant by them.
This song in particular, Desperation, strikes a chord in me. I have had many moments in life when I feel as if everything is crashing around me and I panic and scramble for control in my life. I end up grasping at straws and make stupid choices simply because I crave nothing more than regaining control. Even if I made a horrible mistake, at least it was me doing it, not someone else manipulating my puppet strings.
This song begins by saying, “Throw a dog a bone, I’ll take it if I have to/Go real fast like there’s somewhere we can get to”. It shows how vulnerable people are when we feel that we’re getting only leftovers and having to settle. We may try to make do with what we have, but eventually, it will come back to bite us in the butt.
Another amazing line that follows, “Give a heart away like it don’t mean nothing to me”, almost brings tears when I think about it. I know I have a lot of girlfriends that agree: we give our hearts away too quickly and to the wrong people because we become so overwhelmingly frustrated with waiting, dating the wrong people, getting hurt, and going through the whole process over and over and over again- to no avail. That’s where the desperation comes in.
Some people do settle. Some people get married simply because they’re presented with a ring, and they don’t really care who is holding it.
I beg of you, please don’t even let a season of frustration or desperation decide your entire life and future. I have made lots of mistakes, and I have learned tons from them. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would rather be lonely the rest of my life than to be with someone and not truly love them.
In the hard moments when I am truly depressed and crying out “WHY ME?!” I have learned to really explore myself. Am I just anxious because I haven’t left the house, am suffering from cabin fever, and am spending too much time getting into my own head, overthinking everything? Am I bored and wanting to take on a new adventure or wipe the slate clean altogether by moving to a new place or starting a new career?
As I begin to understand the cause of my freak out, I remind myself to- first and foremost- breathe. Nothing is permanent. God didn’t bring me here to abandon me (Philippians 1:6). I was created to bloom where I am planted. I can always start over if I really need to, but I don’t make rash decisions anymore.
Now, I wait. I practice my patience (pray for me, y’all- I’m still working on it!) I pray and shift my focus to who is really in control and know that He has a plan and He wants what is best for me. Inhale, exhale- just breathe. How comforting is it to know we don’t have to have it all figured out? We don’t have to answer all of life’s questions with definite answers!
It’s okay to take time to be still, reflect and learn. It’s also okay to mess up, cry, throw a fit and move forward- as long as you’re constantly learning and growing.
Don’t ever give up, don’t ever settle and don’t ever allow desperation and frustration to stop you from living (and loving) this crazy wonderful beautiful thing called life.
Xo,
Lauren
Photo Credit: Billboard.com