Such a small word and yet it is so pertinent to so many facets of life. I like to think of myself as very trustworthy individual and not one that is hardly ever questioned when it comes to my word being my word and my actions speaking for themselves when words seem to fail me. The greatest sense of my own internal pride is at stake when someone dares to question that I will not do whatever it is that I have set out to do. To separate how those pride and trust seem to intertwine seems like a daunting task and not one that I am always able to well depending on the situation. What does it mean to have someones trust completely and what happens when we fail someone or they fail us? No one that walks this world is perfect. Therefore do we just shut the door on a moment in our lives and never look back or do we learn from it and make the best of whatever situation we find ourselves in.
With my ever demanding job at Starbucks the level of trust that comes with the responsibility of being a shift manager seems to never end. The company trusts me to run a shift in the most efficient and uplifting way possible. I need to make sure my team is happy and willing to do what ever they need to do to have the best atmosphere possible for returning and hopefully new customers. Some mornings are the best and we all seem to just click, everyone is happy and there are no rough spots in the shift where everything seems to go wrong. Other days it seems that everything that could go wrong does go wrong. Sometimes it’s one person that comes in that has had a terrible morning and no matter what I do I cannot cheer them up or help make their outlook different than when they came in. My personality being the way that it is has the hardest time not wrapping my pride up with the ability to make a change or in this case the lack of being able to make a change. Not that we can always change what other people do. What they do is their choice and their choice alone. You can’t make anyone do any one thing. We can’t make them do something whole heartedly unless they feel compelled to whatever it is that they are asked to do. The trust that I have for each of my partners at the store is huge and we would not make it as a team if we didn’t trust each other. Trust can either make or break a team. It is not always an easy attribute to come by. There have been quite a few instances where my trust in someone to be to their shift on time has not been the case or maybe it’s changing their demeanor once they are on the floor. One person’s attitude can change the entire day. What we learns from these situations ranges from, learning to coach them in the moment to be better, to perhaps not scheduling them to open, to even saying that perhaps it is time to find a new career. As Howard likes to say Onward.
Now when it comes to those that matter the most to us. Relationships that mean the world to us. Where do we find the trust that the person we love is telling us the absolute truth? How do we know that they are where they say that they are? I know that I fell so quickly once for someone that I thought loved me for me and that he would never lie to me or not want to be a part of life anymore. I turned out to be completely wrong and learned a lesson in walking away from entire facet of my life that I had once thought was so important. The broken bits of what I thought where going to part of my entire life quickly became a distant memory. I remember picking up the pieces and thinking I was so in love with this man. How in the world had I let my trust take me so far and thrown caution to the wind and given my heart so freely? My self worth at the time so tied up with someone else that I wondered how I would ever trust again? Where would I find the drive to be me and only me again? Thankfully I found the strength to do just that. The realization that trust had to be earned and not given freely was a lesson well worth the learning. The next go around if there ever was one would be different and I would never lose who I was in someone else again. I leaned to rely completely on God and not so much on other people in my life. As I said earlier, people will fail us. To think that it is something that they do to be mean or malicious is usually not the case. It is merely the perspective of what they see and and when they see it, in whatever circumstance that they find themselves in. Not to say that this world does hold some people that are not nice and can be mean. That is where trust must yet again be earned and not given lightly. Some people just seem more trustworthy than others. But what do we do when that trust is broken?
I would love to say I am a champion at forgive and forget. The forgetting part however is the part that I won’t give into. I can almost always forgive. But to forget means that I have missed the lesson in what I was supposed to learn. In each lesson of life we are taught what to recognize as either a good or bad sign. My mom has always said go with your gut instinct, it almost always knows best. Truer words have never been spoken. I am also reminded daily to pray without ceasing. Forgiveness starts with letting go of the anger that holds us. If we never let go of the anger we become consumed with our hatred of whatever it is that we refuse to let go of. It festers and can eat away at the very core of who we all are. We forget to love first. To love is where forgiveness wins out. We pick up the pieces and learn to trust yet again. Sometimes not on our own and with complete understanding of things or why things happen the way that they do. Life can and will be tough but if we learn each time to #lovemore, #makeadifference, #bethechange, then maybe trust isn’t so hard to come by. Maybe we will continue to see the good in people instead of assuming the worst. Picking up the pieces won’t be so difficult and knowing that God has the ultimate plan all along takes so much pressure off where ever it is that we find ourselves. So here is to a week or more of trusting when we don’t want to, forgiving but not forgetting, and learning from every moment of our lives. Trust and forgiveness isn’t always easy but it more than worth the journey in the end.
Photo Credit: Beach Baby Kisses