Do you have anyone that you get annoyed with, simply for seeing their name come up on social media? Please tell me it’s not just me. It’s not “bad” to dislike people (and don’t get me wrong, I still love them as my neighbor, I just really don’t want to spend time with them). Sometimes it’s just healthier in the long run to not pretend.
I don’t know if the same is true for you, but especially in an age where everyone posts every little update of their lives (myself included) I only want to see the updates of people I care about and, well, like the most. The same is true for my spare time when I’m off of work and want to enjoy myself. I’m not going to waste it with people who make me feel unimportant.
Sometimes it’s hard. I’ve given people more chances than they deserved, simply because I didn’t have anyone else to hang out with. I’ve learned I’d rather be alone than feel bad about myself out with people. (I have also learned that if they are making you feel bad, chances are they feel bad about themselves).
In some cases, it may even be a family member. Growing up, I realized at one point that being related doesn’t mean you have to be friends. Again, I still love my family, but when I’m around certain relatives I always feel as if they’re looking down on me. I have finally learned how to look at my life and theirs, and just realize that they don’t understand my lifestyle, and that’s okay! Neither of us is wrong, we’re just different people living polar opposite lives.
You have to find joy for yourself. Some people will have a deceivingly wonderful mask on, but as you get to know them, you might find that they crush your spirit.
All I ask is that you evaluate who you spend time with. If you feel bad around someone, really question why. If you’re jealous of them or of what they have, that’s an issue with yourself- so don’t take it out on them. But if they constantly interrupt you, are on their phone while you talk, or just generally insult you (even if it’s unintentional), GET AWAY FROM THEM. People can be selfish and they’ll learn someday, but it is not your job to sacrifice your happiness in order to maintain a relationship with them and maybe even try to help them.
Value yourself, your happiness, your time and your friendships. Never settle. No, I don’t have a huge group of friends, and no, I don’t have my any long-term friends since childhood. But the few close friends that I do have, I cherish with all of my heart. Even if I don’t see them or speak to them often (living across the country tends to do that), I know I can run to them or call them at any hour of the day and night and they will be there for me 100% to build me back up and pour love into me when I need it most.
Those are the kind of people to keep close. Be picky and choose who influences you. Make sure they are worth it.