This week has been a crazy busy week, then again what else is new. I am not exactly sure what a week would be without me running all over creation trying to get a bazillion and one things accomplished. It was during the latter part of last week that life was brought to a somber halt and I was reminded to never take one second that I am given for granted. A friend of mine, lost a young family member unexpectedly in a car wreck. It made me think about how life on earth as we know it can end so quickly. That we are not promised tomorrow. That in reality it is the ones left behind that have the hardest part of the journey. Moving on after losing someone is never just a thing that someone can accomplish in a fortnight. It takes time, for some it takes a very long time. It made me pause and think about what it would be that I would leave behind if in the very next second I was called home and no longer walked this world. What pathway of footprints would I leave in the world around me and who’s life had been changed for the better because of one small thing that I had taken the time to do There was an acute sense of so much power, responsibility, and drive to do more as each thought came to mind. What all could a person do and what was that drives that person in the first place? Does it grow and change as life progresses? We discover new things all of the time and we learn new things about ourselves as we grow, mature and become better versions of ourselves.
The question of what would I leave behind came to mind. Would people miss me? What was it that I was doing every day to make the world a better place. Sure I love to talk about it. But what is it exactly that I do? The saying of walking the walk and talking the talk made me pause and take life and everyone around me in a different light. It is so much easier to just not do anything sometimes. If someone is upset about something the last thing that I want to do is see if they are OK. The simple act of something like that, takes energy and effort. My life is busy and at times so exhausting. The selfish human side comes in to play and the struggle of being centered on me, myself and I, and being there for others becomes a very real battle. Thankfully the empathetic side comes to the rescue and generally wins the battle. Not every time but I am more than thankful when it does.
The next thought that hit me was the question of how many times have I gone to bed angry, hurt, or frustrated with someone that I love and care about. That because of a difference of opinion or a misunderstanding and my feelings and the whole empathetic side comes in and plays havoc with me and my feeling of why someone can’t understand my point of view. That going to bed and not dealing with it seems like the thing to do. Rather than talking it out with the person. Granted trying to talk something out while being angry is not really an option especially with me. I don’t always remember what it is that I say when angry. How would I feel though if I had never had the chance to make it right with a person in my life because of my pride and anger getting in the way. Anger generally stems from pride of being right and making sure the other person sees your side of things your way. Or perhaps it’s the situation that we all find ourselves angry with. Whether or not said feelings or situation are right or wrong, in the long run, don’t really matter. It’s how we each react to the situation. It is finding the strength to forgive when the last thing we want to do is say I am sorry and I get where you are coming from. But what if that person that we had the argument were suddenly gone and we never had the chance to say that they really and truly mattered despite not always getting along. That it was merely an argument. My mom telling me to never go to bed angry rang loud and clear in my head. It is human nature to disagree. No one was ever meant to get along all of the time. But making things right with the ones we love can make a bigger difference than we realize sometimes. I know that growing up I was never allowed to go to bed angry with my parents. I remember one night in particular. My younger brother and I had been arguing as siblings do and my mom sent us both to bed with no ice cream. Gasp, the no ice cream card, a huge card to play. I slammed my door shut and threw some toys across the room. Well as you can imagine that did not go over very well with my parents and my dad made me come and apologize. What?? Now there was no ice cream and I had to apologize. The unjustness of it all! Well I did but to say that I meant it would have been an absolute lie. I ran to my room and cried and cried. My mom then came in and gently rubbed my back and said you know you can’t go to bed angry like this. It’s not good for a person to go to bed angry at someone else. It makes the whole next day an unbearable day because we carry that anger with us. It affects everything and I don’t want that for you. You never know what tomorrow can bring and maybe making it right with someone won’t happen. Tell me what is wrong. At this point I was so tired and sleepy that I couldn’t even remember why I had been mad at my brother in the first place. I told my mom I was sorry for everything this time I meant it and soon fell sound asleep. That lesson sunk in deep though. To this day I do not do well when trying falling asleep angry at someone or heaven forbid that I feel someone is angry with me. Yet again the lesson that time is precious and sometimes time spent with our loved ones is cut short resonated within me. Now more than ever was a time to make sure things were good with all the ones I love in my life.
So here is to a week of making the time to make it right with the ones we love more than life itself. We know not when their time to pass on to the other side will come. Say that I love you, apologize because you can, make memories every time that you get the chance, love with all of your heart (it’s worth the risk taken). Do random acts of kindness because you can and do your utmost to be the change in this world. We know not when the journey ends on this side but while we are here we can make all the difference in the world.