5 Stars Deluxe: Palm Isle or…. 5 Tips for Opening a Hotel

One of the most important things in life is the ability to improvise. No matter how well you are prepared, you can’t be prepared for every possible situation. In a hotel, the chances you might come into one of these situations is about 100% every day.


Let’s imagine you are so drunk, you really have to get rid of the alcohol in your body, but you forgot where your room is (or is it even the right hotel?!). So, most of us would simply try to find that happy place, a nice corner to get the job done. Problem is, this corner will most likely smell like hell. Even more problematic for me is cleaning your job up, which is my job at 3am. Biggest problem is, if your happy place is a corner on an isle with 24 guest rooms, right next to the elevators.


Pet owners know the issue with poop on carpets. You know the smell, the imprint.  The smell is quite easy to get rid of… housekeepers love room sprays. Usually you have a vast variety. I prefer a nice pineapple scent (I even filled a bottle for home use).  About the imprint, you are facing bigger challenges, as poop on bright carpets will leave some hints about the crime, always and (nearly) forever.


After a week of strong abuse of even stronger chemicals, you could still figure out that something disturbing happened. As hoteliers are masters of improvisation, always caring for our guests and their well-being, we simply put a big and beautiful palm tree on the carpet, covering up the last and non-hideable residues. Also, we changed to the coco scent. Pure Caribbean experience!


We learned several aspects back then. Guests really love palm trees and they prefer cocos over pineapple. Just a small tip, if you are planning to open a hotel.


Also, drunk individuals love to urinate on these trees. In the following weeks after “the incident” it happened weekly. What patrons don’t like is the smell of fresh urine, which is stronger than cocos or pineapple perfume. You see, it’s difficult to be a good host.


Some tips from my experience to be a good host:

  1. Have a big a armoury of room scents
  2. Have an even bigger armoury of chemicals
  3. Place some nice palm trees
  4. Put some sand around those trees to soak in the “accidents”
  5. Always get rid of poop asap


After around two months, lots of complaints due to urine smell, and tons of cocos and pineapple scents, the management finally decided to take some money on hand an replace the carpet (They could not get the same, so a part of the isle looks different from the rest, which looks really bad… but at least we did not have to be afraid of “criminals”.


Still loving my guests.


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