(An extremely rare mirror selfie I sent to my mom the other day when I had to run some errands and decided to spruce myself up before hand, in a newly-acquired dress from a friend).
Every now and then I’ll suggest a favorite restaurant and my lunch date will shoot it down with another suggestion. So when I have a day off and am by myself, I will usually go to the place I wanted to in the first place. Why wouldn’t I?
When I was growing up and changing schools, I was always terrified of being the “loser” eating all alone in the cafeteria (note to students: if you see this person PLEASE sit with them. Even if you don’t turn out being best friends, you will 100% help with the transition!). As I grew older and moved to new places where I didn’t have friends, I cared less about what people would think of me and more about what I wanted. Especially now that everyone has their eyes directly on their phone screen most of the time, I never even notice if people look in my direction or not.
The same is true if I want to go to a particular movie, store, or do an activity. Yes, having a buddy to do stuff with is great, but if I don’t have that person, I’m not going to deprive myself of the joy from that activity. I look at it as if I’m taking myself on a date. I promise it’s not as weird as it sounds.
If you’re a fan of the show Parks and Recreation, you’ll recognize the phrase “Treat yo’self” as Tom & Donna’s favorite activity. While I don’t go as extravagant as they do, I make it a point to do things that will make me happy, just for me. If my friends hate the music I listen to, guess what I blast when I’m on the way to their house?
My point in all of this is that if you can’t find someone to join you in the fun, just enjoy the fun for yourself. If you’re anything like me, you might even take a silly picture of yourself doing said activity and text it to your mom or bestie (mine is both) especially if they’re busy or live far away.
The best part (to me, at least) is getting ready. I will usually set my trusty blue jeans aside and opt for a comfy dress and might even take the time to put my contacts in (it’s rare these days). Looking “cute” makes the whole idea of taking myself out on a date that much more fun. The same can be true for mundane chores like going to a doctor appointment or grocery shopping. It just gives you an extra pep in your step if you like how you look while you do these things.
I understand the first couple times can be awkward, so try going to a movie first (no one will see you alone if the room is dark). Just try it out. You never know, you might even run into someone else all alone and can make a new friend! Or if you’re feeling a little less outgoing, just cook your favorite meal for yourself and put on your favorite movie or t.v. show in your home. Pampering yourself is always a good idea!
Don’t rob yourself of the joy in activities or places that excite you just because you feel self-conscious about being alone. Celebrate yourself and do it anyways.
Xo,
Lauren