I am in a funk right now. There is no reason for it. I am not going through any significant life events or trauma. I’m just down.
I wish I could pinpoint why. Is it because I made a list of things I planned to accomplish today and didn’t do most of them? Is it something purely simple like not having many lights on in the room so it feels dark? Is it because it feels like this is the last holiday for a while?
Whatever the reason, these moods hit from time to time and don’t concern me too much. They are an annoyance when I expected the day to go differently but aren’t anything I feel I need to explore too deeply.
I know that tomorrow is a new day and that this cloud will likely have lifted by then. I know that there will come a time when I am going through a trauma and will look back on days like today and realize that I was foolish to be down. I don’t take it too seriously but I also don’t force myself to leave it.
I am grateful that these are occurrences and not seasons for me. I know there are those for whom these feelings are a good day compared to what they go through on a usual basis. I won’t begin to compare my today with their usual day and think it’s equivalent.
But on days like today it is more of a challenge to see the good around me. It’s sort of like having a closet full of clothes but no outfits, or a pantry full of food but nothing that is appetizing. If I spent time, I could find what I need but I am seeing more pieces than big picture so it’s just easier to quit looking.
So even on days like today, there is still an optimistic view I can take. I am glad to know that the sunshine tomorrow brings will likely put me in a different mood. Or being in a different environment will lift my spirits. What is more comforting right now isn’t the good that is around me, it is the good that is beyond me.